Day 265 – Ben-Hur – 2016

Why would Hollywood remake this classic film, and ruin it with some of the cheesiest dialogue availible to man. Thats what Director Timur Bekmambetov has done to the classic story of brother vs brother. Starring Jack Huston as the main man, Toby Kebbell as Messala the brother of Ben Hur and a large cast of actors of different calibre, the film was released in 2016 and bombed at the box office thanks to Hollywood bastardising it.

Il keep the synopsis short. Judah Ben-Hur is a prince with his adoptive brother Messala. His brother is envious of his brothers pride, and leaves to join the Roman Army. 3 years later his brother arrives in town, jealous of his brother he has him framed for a crime. He is sentenced to imprisonment, and over 5 years he seeks revenge for his murdered sister and mother. He returns home, and finds a way to get revenge on his brother and the romans for what they did.

If you have ever seen the original you would remember the scale of the film, it was made in a time where bigger was better and Ben Hur had that. It had the star power of Charlton Heston behind it, and had some of the most intricate costumes ever created for a single motion picture of the time. It was even shot on location, in Italy, and Sea battlea shot on the oceans. Then the remake comes out of nowhere and decieded to change everthing that made the original great.

To be honest I don’t blame the director for his work, I blame the studio. There insistence on replacing the classic moments of the original which relied on real locations and sets and even minuatures and replace it all with cheap CGI was the hole in the grave. Even the chariot race was laden with cheap CGI and crap footage. Who uses GoPro footage for a film that is based on the great stories of our generation. Overhype and under deliver must have the been the motto on set.

This film shoulnd have been made. Even the actors on screen look like they shouldn’t be there, especially Morgan Freeman. He is a national treasure.

Should you watch it: NO

Day 246 – Why Him? – 2016

Now I am not really a big fan of these big comedies releases, because of its just fodder for the masses. But a friend told me to watch this film, and by god I did. And I loved it. James Franco and Bryan Cranston star in Why Him?, released in December 2016 to hilarious reviews.

Father vs Fianće.

Ned Fleming (Bryan Cranston) is the owner of a printing company in the US. His daughter Stephanie (Zoey Deutch) has been living on the west coast at school, and invites her parent over for the winter holidays. Both Ned and wife Barb (Megan Mullally) accept and head over. They are then introduced to Stephanie’s new boyfriend Laird (James Franco), whos openhearted, laid back approach to life and holistic lifestyle doent agree with Ned’s way of life. Its only a matter of time before something goes wrong, and usually ends with with Ned being in trouble.

This film showcases the talents of both Bryan Cranston, James Franco and also the impressive comedy of Keegan-Michael Key who takes all of the comedy moments, and steals them for himself making for some of the best moments of the film. There are some moments in the film which are also vomit inducing such as the poo-based humour and the dead moose in the water feature which personally don’t sit well with younger and much older audiences.

This film showcases the comedic talents of both Cranston and Franco – but personally showcases the even better comedic timing of Keegan-Michael Key. He is on top form in this film, and I enjoyed it immensely.

Should you watch it: YES

Day 219 – Boyka: Undisputed – 2016

I have never watched the Undisputed films, mainly thanks to them being directly released to DVD and never in theatres and that people said they sucked. In 2016 they released the 4th sequel in the franchise, and it stars a man who has been around for a long time but never talked about: Mr Scott Adkins.

Yuri Boyka (Scott Adkins in a Russian accent) is fighting to save money so he can return home to visit his family. He fights in a ring, but after an accidental death, he rethinks why he fights. He finds out that the man that died in the ring has a family, and returns to the land where he is wanted to make peace with the man’s wife and daughter. At the same time, he somehow gets involved with the Russian Mafia and has to fight his way out of the tournament to save the man he killed wife and daughter.

It’s a convoluted story which doesn’t actually have any endgame. The only thing the film does well is showcase Scott Adkins incredible fighting skill on screen. Seriously this guy needs to be more known in Hollywood as a leading man thanks to the power he showcases on screen. He is incredible, considering he is from England the Russian accent he has is great as well. Overall the story is bad, but the choreography is on top form. A number of broken bones the multiple assailants get from Yuri Boyka throughout the film is staggering and something to be witnessed.

The film stars a newcomer, as the main antagonist against Yuri Boyka – Martyn Ford as Koshmar. This man is a bodybuilder from the UK and is massive. Thanks to the multiple tattoos he has on his body, he comes across as very scary, and in the film looks like a machine designed to kill everyone he fights, but in actual fact is a nice guy.

The film is a showcase for excellent choreography and fantastic execution of martial arts, thanks to Scott Adkins being such as address, but unfortunately, the basic premise of the plot lets the film down. There is no character development, no cause of justice and no end game for Boyka and this is what it lets it down. I would recommend skipping the dialogue and watch only the fighting.

Should you watch it: NO

Day 211 – Colossal – 2016

Colossal is a black comedy from the mind of Spanish writer/director Nacho Vigalondo starring Anne Hatheway, Jason Sudeikis, and Dan Stevens. The film tells the story of Gloria who returns home to find out her actions are being mimicked in Japan by a colossal giant. Released in 2016 to mixed reviews, the film flopped but praised the performance of Anne Hatheway thanks to her portrayal of Gloria who has issues with alcohol.

Gloria (Anne Hatheway) is an alcoholic writer who likes to party with her friends once her boyfriend leaves for work. One day he breaks up with her thanks to her obsession with the drink, so she moves out and back home to her middle American hometown into a home owned by her wealthy parents of which is bare. She meets up with her old friend Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) and invites her to his bar, and introduces her to his friends Garth (Tim Blake Nelson) and Joel (Austin Stowell) who of which are losers like Oscar. They get black out drunk and Gloria wakes up on a children’s playground around the corner from her home. She gets up drunk, wobbling all over the place to get home and realise that a kaiju (Japanese monster) has attacked South Korea. She realises it’s her movements and has to figure out a way to stop it.

The beauty of this film is the monster addition to Gloria’s character. She is a lost soul, of which has no way in life to continue. A drunk depressive who cannot hold her own. It’s interesting to see Anne Hatheway like this on the screen when you look at her earlier work from The Princess Diaries, Les Miserables, and One Day. The film is very strange because thanks to the trailer you think it’s a comedy, but with the introduction of Jason Sudeikis’s Oscar, the film takes a dark turn. He becomes manipulative and conniving towards Gloria which is completely unlike Sudeikis’s real life personality.

The problem I had with the film was the attention it paid towards the giants of which are attacking Seoul in South Korea. The film maker showed the bare minimum of the monsters attacking the city, but the trailer pretence showcased all of that within 2 minutes. It’s a shame that film makers do this to entice the audience to watch the film. The 2008 film Cloverfield showcased more of the monster than this film. The addition of Dan Stevens as the boyfriend of Gloria, Tim is British and has some comedic gems in the film, unfortunately, his role is cut short thanks to Jason Sudeikis’s Oscar.

This film could have great potential, but thanks to sloppy pacing and poor character development of the sub characters the film fall flat. The addition of Jason Sudeikis as the villain is also a bad thing and personally doesn’t suit him as an actor. Anne Hatheway excels as the alcoholic lost soul but unfortunately, the self-pity doesn’t add up to the weak source material from Nacho Vigalondo.

Should you watch it: NO

Day 159 – The Belko Experiment – 2016

What happens when you have 90 people trapped in a building, and they have to kill each other to survive. Chaos. This film brings us the chaotic look of how to survive against all the odds. Starring no one important minus John C McGinley who played Dr Cox on Scrubs, it was written by the legend himself – James “Guardian of the Galaxy” Gunn, and with no imagination directed by Greg McLean and released in 2016.

The premise of This film sounded quite interesting, unfortunately, the direction of the plot and play loses its flair literally 10 minutes into it. There is no backstory of why the building is on lockdown, and why the employees of The Belko Company are killing each other except for a tannoy telling them they have to. Ohh and also they have an explosive in the back of their heads in case they don’t comply. The film was poorly paced, and the acting sub-par. It was destined to be in the bargain bin at the supermarket and on the lists of “great horror” films on Netflix.

I respect James Gunn for all his work on Slither, Guardians of the Galaxy and Dawn of the Dead. They all have interesting genres, with Dawn of the Dead being likened to this film. The horror aspect is lost once the employees start killing each other for survival, and the film moves rapidly from horror to straight-up gore. It is not even good gore, just splashes of red on the walls and the camera moving off the action the moment the hit occurs.

The main character Mike Milch (played by an uncharismatic John Gallagher Jr) is the office everyman. He has the girl, and the respect of all the office, unfortunately, its not enough to stop the mayhem. He just is a boring protagonist for the audience as he has nothing to save (minus his girlfriend). There is also the James Gunn special, his brother Sean Gunn and Michael Rooker who star in most of Gunns motion pictures. The film is just straight up boring.

Overall a weak film from the mind of James Gunn (he’s lucky he didn’t direct it). An office of people get trapped inside a building and have to kill each other to be the victor and survive. Plagued with terrible performances and a weak plot the film was destined to fail.

Should you watch it: NO

Day 150 – Grimsby – 2016

Grimsby is from the mind of Sacha Baron Cohen who brought us classic characters such as Ali G, Borat and Bruno. He started to create these zany characters on television and then made one into a film. Ali G Indahouse, Borat: Cultural Learnings of American For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and The Dictator where he played a middle east dictator sent to New York to find himself. This time around he takes us to Grimsby, the town in the north east of England. Starring himself, Mark Strong and Isla Fisher it came out in 2016 to lacklustre reviews.

Nobby Butcher (Sacha Baron Cohen) lives in Grimsby with his girlfriend and 11 kids in harmony. He goes to the pub to celebrate Englands win and entry to the final against Germany in Chile. While at the pub he is informed by friends that they have found his long lost brother Coddy and will be attending the WorldCure event. Nobby agrees to visit him, not realising his brother is an undercover MI6 agent tasked with taking out bio-terrorists at the event. He, unfortunately, gets rumbled thanks to Nobby and they retreat to Grimsby. From there they have to escape the WorldCure goons who threaten the world’s AIDS crisis by planting a bomb at the World Cup Final in Chile. It is up to Nobby and Coddy to stop the WorldCure CEO Rhonda George (Penelope Cruz) before its too late.

Well, what can I say? Are you a fan of crude jokes, audacious escapades and desperate jokes. Then this is the film for you. Sacha Baron Cohen film, unfortunately, doesnt have the same magic that his former films or characters had. This time around he brings the laughs, but unfortunately, it comes across rude in most cases. The humour is aimed at the teenage audience, and luckily it reaches that market audience. Unfortunately for me, it was more a laborious in watch then in practice. It was funny but in the crude nature.

If you are a fan of stupid comedies, then this will abide your time. Don’t expect to overthink, just laugh. Its fun, but to a point where it becomes tame. Don’t waste your time on Sasha Baron Cohen taking the piss out of Liam Gallagher’s hair.

Should you watch it: NO

Day 142 – Split – 2016

Split is the psychological thriller from former mastermind M. Night Shyamalan. Many have said that this film is a return to form for Shyamalan thanks to the ending that nobody saw coming. Starring James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy and Betty Buckley it tells the story of Kevin Wendall Crumb who kidnaps 3 girls. He also has the distinct ability, of which his body contains 23 different personalities.

Casey Cook (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a recluse at her school. She is invited to a friend’s birthday party, of which the girls try and connect to here. While waiting for her uncle to pick her up, the father of the birthday girl Claire offers her and Marcia a lift home. As they get in the car, they are attacked by Kevin and the three girls wake up in a locked room. Kevin, they show his face, and slowly the girls realised he has multiple personalities. At the same time, Kevin sends an erratic email to his psychiatrist Dr Karen Fletcher (Betty Buckley). She has been trying to figure out that a personality in someone can effect the body in a radical way. She meets with Kevin, to realise that his multiple personalities are taking over again and try to stop him. The girls then have to try and escape Kevin’s underground lair and tell the authorities. It’s a race against time for the girls and Dr Fletcher to stop Kevin before he unleashes his final personality: The Beast.

The ending is the best part, and I won’t ruin it. What I can say is that this is the definite return for M. Night Shyamalan. He brings the psychological tropes to the screen once again but effectively flips them upside down for the audience. The terror he introduces via this method is effective and tactile enough to keep you at the edge of your seat. A first in a long time for Shyamalan. James McAvoy is incredible a Kevin and the other 22 personalities he inhabits. The rapid transformation from one character to another is done via a change of clothing but looking deeper he changes his body structure which is disturbing to the audience. McAvoy has embodied the characters with grace and the tone is nailed perfectly.

The film Split is heart racing, indecisive and really clever. M. Night Shyamalan has incorporated a fear ( and himself via cameo) into the film which is scary and random like the main character that is Kevin. The sub-story of Casey and her uncle is a disturbing look into the mindset of a character that had been abused and used effectively within the plot which is a great use of character embodiment.

Overall Split is unique thanks to its characters and the world it is placed in. I would say it a definite return to form for M. Night Shyamalan thanks to the clever pacing and use of multiple personalities that Kevin has.

Should you watch it: YES

Day 135 – Mindhorn – 2016

Mindhorn comes from the minds of comedian Julian Barrat who created The Mighty Boosh with Noel Fielding. He plays an out of work actor brought back from his beloved character to stop a series of murders on the Isle of Man. Directed by Sean Foley, it was released 5th May 2017 and stars Julian Barrat, Andrea Riseborough and Russell Tovey.

Richard Thorncroft is a washed-up television actor who used to star in the show Mindhorn where he played the titular character in the 80s. At the same time, a series of murders take place on the Isle of Man where Mindhorn was set. The police find his lair and realise the only one he will talk to is Detective Mindhorn. Thorncroft is asked to come to the island and realise his destiny and gets his old manager to try and create a media frenzy so he can relaunch his career. He also tries to get reinvolved with his ex-partner on and off the show Patricia Deville (Essie Davis) who is now with his old stunt man Clive. He hatches a plan to bring back Mindhorn and his fame, and unfortunately, nothing goes to plan thanks to some humorous events.

Andrea Riseborough plays DC Baines, the detective tasked to bring down the Kestral. It’s weird to see her in a low budget British film after starring in Oblivion, Birdman and more recently Nocturnal Animals. She brings the action whilst Julian Barrat is supposed to bring the laughs. To be fair there are points in the film that really did make me laugh. He does encapsulate the embodiment of the 80s TV star that really wants to become famous again and to see where he has fallen from is half the joke. Barratts humour is more opportunistic thanks to the great writing from himself and Simon Farnaby.

Mindhorn is more a swansong for old school tv actors. It shows how far a man can go before he has the need to return and Richard Thorncrofts world everything is a joke including himself. A typical British film, with some fantastic cameos from Kenneth Brannagh and Steve Coogan who actually plays the secondary character from Mindhorn who then has a spin-off which lasts for over 10 seasons. The beauty of Mindhorn is the characters and the location. The Kestral is essentially a character who’s insane, but at the same time, he means well. I won’t ruin it but he is a funny character.

The overall responsibility of Richard Thorncroft is thrown out the window when he returned to the Isle of Man thanks to his ego. And Julian Barratt has hit the nail on the chin as the washed up actor. His portrayal is authentic for you to almost to believe this film isn’t fictional. The humour is up there at the beginning and the middle but unfortunately the final act the film looses all credibility thanks to the weak writing. The tie-up is just not justifiable and makes no logical sense considering the story.

You should watch it just for the laughs. I did.

Should you watch it: YES

Day 109 – Gold – 2017

Gold tells the story of Kenny Wells, the businessman who worked in his father’s successful gold mining business before he died. He has tried numerous times to relaunch it, but unfortunately, luck doesn’t fall in his favour. On his final try, he gets the help and support from Michael Acosta who believes there is gold that can be mined in Bali. Together they mine in Bali, with some trials and tribulations for both in order to make as much money possible. Starring Matthew McConaughey, Édgar Ramirez and Bryce Dallas Howard, Gold tells the true story of how one man became big, and almost lost it all.

Directed by Stephen Gaghan, writer of Syriana, Havoc and the remake of the Alamo. Based on the real-life story of former Bre-X CEO David Walsh, Gaghan and McConaughey bring a story of redemption to the silver screen. The fierce commitment that Kenny Wells has just to find gold, and how far he goes to hold on to the reputation he wants to keep is admirable, yet a foolish mistake. Kenny Wells as a character is an ugly man, his only obsession is gold. He risks his life to locate it, and even leaves his wife when he struck gold because of his sheer insanity towards mass cultivation.

The gold is both a sign for Kenny and a curse. It brings the wealth, and the fast lifestyle with woman, alcohol and drugs but at the same time it makes him ugly. Forgetting his wife, losing his close ones and even his business partner. Édgar Ramirez plays Michael Acosta, the man who locates the place in Bali to dig for gold. Now Gaghan has written this as a vehicle for the main star, and unfortunately, it puts Ramirez character in the passenger seat. He stole the show with his calm demenour, and relaxed attitude to life in a hostile environment. An example would be when the workers leave the gold digging site, so his character Acosta travels to every village in Bali to visit the workers and families to renegotiate their work contract. All they wanted was clean water, and he gave it to them and their families whilst Kenny Wells is living it up in America. It’s an interest character trait, and unfortunately for the script a completely wasted opportunity.

The film is one of them where is tries to make you feel good about your life because your watching someone else on screen become a living nightmare. McConaughey is terrific as the man who is searching for gold (and possibly something more). His scepticism about digging for gold in a foreign country pays off, but at the same time sends him and his business in a downward spiral of depression and self-sacrifice. It’s a worthy performance from him, and a welcome one after seeing him in the excellent Dallas Buyers Club (2013).

Overall a fantastic look at the world of mining for gold, and the corruption that occur when you make too much money from it all. A worthy performance from Matthew McConaughey and an excellent performance from supporting actor Édgar Ramirez whose ability to connect with others shine through brightly.

Should you watch it: YES

Day 108 – The Void – 2016

The Void is a film from the minds of Canadian Art Director Joseph Gillespie and Steven Kostanski who tell the tale of Daniel Carter who winds up fighting an unknown entity at the local hospital. The film is an homage to the earlier work of John Carpenter, who based his films in remote locations and the unknown.

Daniel Carter is the local cop sanctioned to look after the local area. He finds a man in the road injured and takes him to a hospital where his estranged wife Allison works as the night nurse. With Dr Richard Powell, they discover a nurse mutilating herself and killing a patient with a knife in their head. They kill the insane nurse and head outside to discover a bunch of insane cultists dressed in white robes, with large knives in tow. They attack Daniel, and the rest of the crew and they take refuge in the hospital. What happens next is a horrible, gory and downright disturbing adventure for Daniel who has to take on mutated and mutilated members of the hospital who somehow have been brought back to life thanks to the cult turning the hospital into a hive for the other side (hell) to cross over.

Mixing John Carpenter style gore and Event Horizon horror creates an uneasy tension for the audience thanks to the onscreen events. Merge that with a fantastic synth score and we have a nostalgic rush of 80a’s trope horror. It’s great to see this style of horror, as it doesn’t contain the same style of imagery we see today. Fewer jumps and more sick to your stomach reveals something that the directors wanted more of. Less CG and more practical effects. It was refreshing to see this film, bringing back memories of The Thing, and Escape from New York.

The eerie atmosphere resonates throughout the film, with its dark hallways and skewed lighting. It generates a creepy environment for our heroes to go through, scared of every turn they take thanks to the nefarious incarnations that the directors have created to kill them. Every shot has been meticulously created to make the viewer uneasy, very similar to the John Carpenter film The Thing from 1982.

The ending of the film is not what you would think because it does take a left turn to where you think it would end. It’s wonderfully crafted thanks to the direction from Joseph Gillespie and Steven Kostanski, and there art direction background.

A fantastic second film from the duo, who I think will become a major name in a couple of years time. Mixing science fiction and horror, and using the 80’s as a basis for its theme, it connects to the audience on a level that could (theoretically) happen in this age.

Should you watch it: YES